What is couples coaching?
Throughout his life, Kevin played basketball. He had numerous coaches who taught him fundamental dribbling skills, fancy passes, and perfected his layup. They gave feedback on skills he was mastering and advice during discouraging games. That is basketball coaching.
Sometimes the basketball coaches also had to give advice on team dynamics and communication. Bobby should pass the ball more. Scottie needs to stop trash-talking as much. That is relationship coaching by a basketball coach.
Couples coaching is similar (including the drills).
A good couples coach will help regardless of your skill level or current state of relationship. They can help explain the basics of healthy communication or focus on a specific area you want to improve. Whether you as a couple are feeling stuck, confused, or preparing to take your relationship to the next level, coaching provides the guidance you need.
What Makes Coaching Different than Therapy
Your coach can be someone you develop a personal relationship with—even a friend—while therapists maintain strict professional boundaries and cannot be your friend. They'll provide you with practical tools to strengthen what's already working well and address areas that need improvement. Think of it as getting a personalized playbook for your relationship. A skilled couples coach will help you open your eyes to what is or isn't working in your relationship though they cannot treat psychological conditions or past trauma.
Couple Coaching by a Couple
Since there are two partners in a marriage, it is only wise to bring both perspectives into your relationship coaching. Otherwise it becomes easy for one partner to feel unseen or unheard because of their lived experiences. Imagine if your basketball team only had offensive coaches and no defensive strategy - your team would be disbalanced and ineffective. The same thing can happen when only one perspective is represented in a couples coaching session.
Your Coach is Not PT.
Relationship coaching helps you improve your communication and deepen your bond. It's not a last second buzzer beater before a breakup—it's preventive care for your relationship. Just like Kevin didn't wait until he was losing every game to work with a coach, the best time to invest in your relationship is when you're motivated to make it even better.
The Long Game
Now, did Kevin become an NBA all-star? Sadly, he's not Kevin Durant (and I'd love to know if all this time you thought it was). But the skills he learned from his coaches helped him improve his game and continue playing happily 30 years later. After working with a couples coach, you should have the skills to improve relationship satisfaction and deepen your connection for years to come.
Whether you're newlyweds wanting to build a strong foundation or a couple celebrating decades together, coaching can help you play at your highest level together.
